We really need to think about the people who got to name our food. Seriously. It just can’t be that the guy who named the “hot dog” was really making the right call. It sounds like he’d never even seen a dog (or he had just enough sense to know “Hot Dachshunds” just didn’t have the right ring to it.) There is no reason we have to be stuck with the decisions (or mistakes) of the diners who came before us. We change other parts of our language and there is nothing to say this can’t apply to food. It’s time to reassess, get creative, and find the right terms to convey the meaning we need in the here and now. (Guys, this could be our YOLO moment- only much less annoying)

We need to know who we are and define our relationships with food, and we need the right language to do that. No more hamburgers that don’t even include ham or come from Germany! No more Buffalo Wings, when the mighty buffalo are, quite clearly, wingless and were once almost eaten to extinction (we know they’re not named for the animal, but it’s just insensitive!) It’s time to put our thinking caps on and prepare our creative cutlery and go to town on some more practical and appealing takeaway titles.

Dumplings:

Pork Pillows or Tasty Tufts

Noodles:

Nummy Worms or Stringy Slurpers

Ribs:

Porkcicles or Meatypops

Fries:

Tato Splinters or Happy Twigs

Pizza:

360 degrees of deliciousness, Palate Scalders or Wedges of Joy

Hot Dog:

Warm Worms, Lanky Burgers or Hot Doge (Such mustard, Many tasty)

Time to taste test some nummy worms. Order online now.